Spooky Ranch 2015 Review

Spooky Ranch (Columbia Station, OH)
“25 Year Of Quality Fall Fun”
By Noah Wullkotte: Jollypumpkin@aol.com

Spooky Ranch is Columbia Station, Ohio’s over the top Halloween extravaganza. During the fall season, this peaceful farm is transformed into a haunted playground where your worst fears are brought to life. This year they celebrate their 25th year of fear. Spooky Ranch consists of 5 different attractions. These are The Famous Haunted Hayride, The Haunted Barn, Extreme Nightmares, Crazy Clowns in 3-D and The Funny Fun House.

The most popular attraction is obviously The Famous Haunted Hayride. This is the attraction that anyone can enjoy. You might think this is a peaceful ride through the woods, but you’re dead wrong. The freaks are out tonight and they’re ready to pounce. The Famous Haunted Hayride is unique since it incorporates high tech animatronics and a variety of frightening scenes.

Famous pitchman Billy Mays has returned from the dead at the Sunset Casket company. Hello Kitty caskets are only $49.99 a piece. This is a fun attraction where you’ll be attacked by a massive rat and you’ll experience some interesting scenes that will definitely get a rise out of you.

My personal favorite will always be the outhouse that opens up all of a sudden. Watch out for Pete as he pees on the crowd. The Famous Haunted Hayride incorporates water and fire effects which makes the haunt somewhat interactive. There’s a plethora of scenes such as a toxic waste zone. A factory worker has been covered in radioactive waste and proceeds to scream as he hangs on to the back of the wagon.

You’ll witness a public hanging where you decide if a criminal should face death or not. The field is full of scarecrows and a pumpkin patch. The Haunted Barn is something you have to see in person. The wagon drives through the mouth of a skull with green eyes. The barn door shuts and three’s no turning back now. This is a unique scene where you’ll encounter a massive vampire bat, a crazy rat monster and a mythical dragon that blows smoke.

The Famous Haunted Hayride is around 20 minutes long. It isn’t drastically different from last year, but it’s still quite enjoyable. There are some areas that need some work. We had a hard time hearing the audio in the barn since it was somewhat muffled. The scene featuring Billy Mays went on for a little too long.

Next up is Crazy Clowns in 3-D. If you’re petrified of clowns then you better run for the hills. Crazy Clowns in 3-D begins differently this year. You’ll meet a crazy skeleton who sits on a TNT box as he states the rules. After he’s done speaking, you’ll start your journey through fear.

Crazy Clowns in 3-D is more intense this season and there are some great changes that have been made. It’s become a much more interactive haunt. You’ll be attacked by a massive clown and a huge horned creature from Hell. Scenes come alive once you put on your 3-D glasses. Enter an Egyptian Temple and get ready for the man eating spiders. There’s been an alien invasion and you’ll be swallowed whole as you enter the claustrophobia tunnel.

Crazy Clowns in 3-D is a horrifying trip through a circus of fear. It’s on the short side lasting around 6 minutes, but it’s definitely an improved experience. Extreme Nightmares is our favorite attraction at Spooky Ranch. It’s the scariest and most detailed. The haunt begins as you meet Ghostly Gus. He has a fondness for vermin and you’re going to love his friendly rat.

Extreme Nightmares is a 15 minute tour of terror. It’s no longer called Bloody Mary’s Revenge, but Bloody Mary still plays a major role in the haunt. Do you have enough courage to say Bloody Mary three times as you stare into the mirror? You’ll eventually meet Bloody Mary who is massive and wants to tear you apart.

Keep quiet in the library or you’re going to be begging for mercy. The graveyard is home to some unspeakable creatures who want to take a bite out of you. Extreme Nightmares doesn’t follow a specific theme, but there are lots of creepy scenes you’re going to enter. The nursery with the killer mom was great and we always enjoy the sewer with the rat tail that swings back and fourth. We have few complaints about Extreme Nightmares. A few actors resort to screaming instead of using lines of dialogue, but this isn’t a common occurrence. 

Spooky Ranch has attractions that appeal to all ages. The Funny Fun House isn’t scary, but it’s not meant to be. It reminded me of an attraction you would experience at a carnival. There are bright lights, funhouse mirrors, a spinning vortex tunnel and a few surprises. You can walk through the attraction as many times as you want. The Funny Fun House exits into the Farm Market/Halloween Store. You can purchase crafts, pumpkins, masks, t-shirts and more.

Spooky Ranch has just about any kind of concession you could want, rather it be a tasty treat or refreshing drink. Package 1 includes admission to all attractions. It’s $20 for ages 11 & older and $14 for Children 10 and under. Package 2 includes admission to all attractions except for Extreme Nightmares. Tickets are $18 for guests 11 and older. It’s $12 for Children 10 and younger. Package 3 includes admission to just The Famous Haunted Hayride, Haunted Barn and The Funny Fun House. Tickets are $16 for guests 11 and older. It’s $12 for Children 10 and younger. Speed passes are $35 for adults 11 and older. It’s $25 for children 10 and younger. Show your military ID to receive free admission on Thursday and Sunday. 

During the day Rockin’-R-Ranch has its Old West Pumpkin Fest which features pony rides, pumpkin painting, face painting, an animal petting farm and much more. Please visit www.clevelandhayride.com for more information.

Spooky Ranch is a great value and a place you can bring your friends and family. It’s pure Halloween fun!

Final Stab For Each Haunt
The Famous Haunted Hayride (Includes Haunted Barn)

Length-9  Design-8  Props/Animatronics-9  Acting-8  Scare Effect-8  Final Stab: 8.4

Extreme Nightmares
Length-8  Design-9  Props/Animatronics-8  Acting-8  Scare Effect-8  Final Stab: 8.2

Crazy Clowns 3D
Length-5 Design-7  Props/Animatronics-7  Acting-6  Scare Effect-7  Final Stab: 6.6