ScareAtorium (Columbus, OH)
“The Chocolate Isn’t Chocolate”
By Noah Wullkotte: firstname.lastname@example.org
A clown with razor sharp teeth welcomes you to ScareAtorium as music plays and lights flash. It’s truly a party atmosphere at ScareAtorium and you’re the guest of honor. Will you survive the night full of bloodshed and horror? This is City Blood’s 2017 review of ScareAtorium in Columbus, Ohio.
ScareAtorium consists of two attractions which are Northland Asylum and Rip’s Funhouse. Northland Asylum is where the crazies come out of hiding. This is a mental hospital where even Hannibal Lecter would have felt nervous in. The most depraved and demented live here. The cleaning lady should be fired since the bathroom is covered with feces and the laundry room has a razor sharp monster sitting on top of a washing machine as he munches on clothes. Or is that a person he’s devouring?
The inmates at Northland Asylum don’t follow the rules. One hangs from a chandelier and the prisoners have escaped in the elaborate prison scene. All your fears live at Northland Asylum. Skeletons reach out to touch you in the catacombs. The graveyard is eerily quiet when suddenly you see a werewolf with glowing eyes. He wants to feast on your bones. There are some amazing creatures at Northland Asylum. Massive vampire bats lunge at customers as they try to escape. If you don’t follow the rules of the asylum then you might just end up with your head in a torture device or be fried like a crispy piece of bacon in the electric chair.
Northland Asylum has made some huge improvements this season. You’ll notice right away that the sound design has been improved. The music is nerve wrecking and fast paced in areas. The lighting and set design is also better than ever. It’s a sensory overload. There’s so much detail that it’s hard to notice everything in just one visit. It’s a bit overwhelming and the designers did a great job in making Northland Asylum resemble an actual haunted hospital. Will you be Dr. Collins’ next patient?
Next up is Rip’s Funhouse. This is a 3D adventure where the impossible is possible. Put on your 3D glasses and experience some great special effects. Beautiful paintings jump out at you in glorious 3D. Walk across a bridge that’s broken or walk on stones while trying not to fall. A forest has a killer man eating plant and a poisonous snake. You might have guessed that this haunt is full of killer clowns and you would be right.
My favorite is the clown who is locked up in a cage. He starts to move with the cage as you leave the scene. There are a lot of cool special effects that come alive when you put on your 3D glasses. A room is full of wooden poles that have glowing polka-dots painted on them. Another room has green laser lights and a clown tries to grab at them. I agree that some of what I’m describing to you sounds a little strange, but it’s pretty impressive when you put on 3D glasses.
The total experience is close to 25 minutes long, but this always depends on your pace and interaction with actors. We consider ScareAtorium one large haunt with two sections. There are concessions available including hats, jewelry, makeup, ScareAtorium apparel and more. One of the T-Shirts resembles a straight jacket which is what you’ll need after you’re done touring The ScareAtorium. Tickets are $25 Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Tickets are just $22 on Sunday. This is a $2 increase on Sunday and a $5 increase on Thurs-Sat compared to last year’s prices.
Fast Pass tickets are a $5 up charge and it’s $15 extra to get ahead of everyone in line. Blackout takes place on November 3rd and 4th and tickets are $25. Experience the haunt in pitch black darkness. ScareAtorium has 3 minute escape rooms which include Rip’s Boxcar, 13 Coffins, Lyncon Laboratory and Cut Throat Cabin. They’re $5 a piece. If you escape in time then you’ll receive a prize. Please visit www.scareatorium.com for more details on pricing and special events.
ScareAtorium is one of Ohio’s best haunts. They’ve made some major improvements this season with the sound design, lighting, props and more. There’s a reason why this place is packed on a Saturday night. It’s an excellent haunt any which way you look at it. Even the queue line that resembles a carnival/freakshow is impressive. We highly recommend ScareAtorium. It’s well worth the drive.
Length-9 Design-9 Props/Animatronics-9 Acting-9 Scare Effect-9
Final Stab: 9.0