The Haunted Hotel 2023 Review

The Haunted Hotel (Louisville, KY)
” You Won’t Check Out Alive”
By Noah Wullkotte:

The Haunted Hotel is a very physical haunt. Your personal space will be violated and you’ll feel dirty afterwards. You’ll check in, but you definitely won’t check out. It’s very suspenseful and unnerving because you never know how an actor is going to react. The elevator isn’t even a safe place to go. The elevator attendant gets up close and personal as he snarls and grabs a hold of your face. The elevator wasn’t working properly, but that didn’t stop the actor from making the scene his own. He thrashed around, climbed above us and made the elevator violently shake as we waited in complete darkness. It was quite impressive to say the least. He must have been exhausted after he was done scaring us.

You will be grabbed, pushed and hopefully you survive the terror that is The Haunted Hotel. There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. The killers are out to get you. I tried to escape up the stairwell, but was suddenly grabbed. The Haunted Hotel is known for their chainsaw maniacs and they were in full force the night of our visit. One squeezed my head like a pimple and asked me where I was from. This freaked me out to no end. Another character commented on my beard and proceeded to kiss me on the lips. He was wearing a mask, but it was still quite unnerving.

The acting is superb at The Haunted Hotel and it’s a very interactive experience. My name was on the reservation list under “Dipshit”. The Haunted Hotel is a scary haunt, but it can be funny at times as well. You’ll meet the head maid Tempest who warns you about what lies ahead inside of the hotel. Some of the characters use weapons to make you jump out of your skin. A female killer with a meat cleaver makes sparks fly. The plants are the size of large dogs and they want to eat you whole as you make it out of the greenhouse. A massive cockroach lunges at customers while they walk by.

The Haunted Hotel is a bizarre adventure through fear. Yes, that woman is sitting on the toilet as she maniacally laughs. A pillow fight breaks out in another room and you might get hit. You’ll explore rooms such as the freezer, church, shower stall, doll room and so much more. It resembles a run down hotel that’s been taken over by freaks and psychopaths. There are plenty of scary props you’ll encounter. Watch out as barrels come crashing down.

What can I say? The Haunted Hotel has been scaring customers for 32 years and there’s a reason people keep coming back for more. It’s fun, physical and you’ll bear witness to some strange sights you might not see at other haunts. The outside section of The Haunted Hotel is very different from the inside. It’s not as detailed, but it’s scary none the less.

It took us nearly 20 minutes to make it out alive at The Haunted Hotel. We walked pretty slowly because we knew that at any moment we might be assaulted in some way. The Haunted Hotel is a hands on haunt, but they don’t over do it. It’s just the right amount of physical contact.

Tickets are $25 in September and on October 8, 15, 22, 26, 29 and 31. Tickets are $30 on October 6, 7, 13, 20 and 27. Tickets are $35 on Oct 14, 21 & 28. Fast Passes are $15 extra and Front of the Line passes are $35 more. There are Haunted Hotel T-Shirts, Hoodies and Beanies for sale. There’s plenty of parking lots charging $10, but you can also find free parking on a nearby side street. There was a BBQ food truck onsite the night we visited. Curse of Krampus takes place on December 16th and 23rd. A combo ticket for both Curse of Krampus at The Haunted Hotel and Christmas Chaos at Malice Manor are $50. It’s a Christmas throw down.

The Haunted Hotel is a classic haunt that ages like a fine wine. Treat yourself to some down and dirty horror at The Haunted Hotel. It’s well worth the ticket price and wait in line.

Length-9 Design-9 Props-8 Acting-9 Scare Effect-9

Final Stab: 8.8