The Dent Schoolhouse & Detention Hall (Cincinnati, OH)
“Who Ya Gonna Call?”
By Noah Wullkotte: Jollypumpkin@aol.com
Rain, rain, go away, come back another day. That’s exactly what it did when we showed up at The Dent Schoolhouse. The previous night it rained for hours and many haunts in the Greater Cincinnati area had a big drop in attendance. But tonight was a different story. There was a massive crowd and it didn’t rain a drop. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect. The Ghostbusters were going to make an appearance and bring their Ectomobile with them. You might know it as Ecto 1.
When they arrived, the place went wild. Ray Park Jr.’s Ghostbusters theme played as blue and red lights flashed and the infamous Ghostbusters horn could be heard from a half a mile away. They quickly got out of their car and the crowd erupted with cheers. The Ghostbusters then opened the back door and got their equipment out. They were on a mission. They were going to stop the evil forces that plagued The Dent Schoolhouse. Do you have enough courage to do the same?
This is the 2012 review of The Dent Schoolhouse & Detention Hall. Who ya gonna call?
The next paragraph features a public service announcement from none other than Dent’s resident priest Damien Reaper. I’m just kidding. This is just Damien bringing damnation upon everyone who enters his playground memorial.
“How can you escape the damnation of hell when you are already here,” Damien asks? Now I want you to raise your hands in the air and put them up. By the father, son and the Holy Spirit, he won’t save any of your asses. All the way to hell you go.
Damien Reaper welcomes you to his playground memorial. Deceased children play on a teeter-totter and the corpses of innocent boys and girls try to hold on to their youth as they rot on swing sets, slides, a merry go round and other playground equipment. A weeping angel statue is stuck in time as mourners greave the passing of school children. This is a sad sight in deed. If you’re lucky enough to escape the haunted playground, you’ll walk past an old school bus where a warped version of Charles in Charge plays inside. Cries from a scared child and a young man can be heard as you enter the nurse’s office.
She has a bone to pick with you and isn’t sure what she’s going to do with her dirty needle. Wait, she just stabbed her finger and maybe you’re next. The Dent Schoolhouse is a place where the biggest lesson you’ll learn is to face your fears. School is in session and this schoolhouse is unlike any you’ve ever attended. School bells periodically ring as you enter some horrific scenes and you try to tell yourself it isn’t real. But it is real and you’re part of a horror show known as The Dent Schoolhouse.
The Dent Schoolhouse is a detailed haunt with old antiques and incredible decor. Words appear on walls and some areas are even infested with roaches. Almost ever scene makes sense and follows the schoolhouse storyline to a tee. You’ll meet the prom queen in the auditorium. She was voted prom queen as a joke and is convinced she’s beautiful because her mom tells her so. Restless spirits have invaded the prom and are out to get you.
Be careful as you enter the autopsy room where a mad man is having a little too much fun with his corpse. He cuts her open and then proceeds to peal away his face. It’s a great makeup job and very memorable. You can’t have a schoolhouse without shop class. This isn’t your typical shop class because a hungry dog stands guard waiting to attack and there are some surprises coming your way. All students need to have a little fun and what’s better than a carnival. Dent’s annual fundraiser is full of clowns, realistic carnival games, popcorn and a poor girl who cries out for help as she sits next to a darts game.
The Dent Schoolhouse is an overwhelming experience where scenes seamlessly blend together to create a masterpiece of scares and an experience like none other. Lights flicker off and on and some even dim or completely shut off. Old lamps from a time long ago illuminate scenes with beautiful colors that help showcase detail and highlight some amazing props. The haunt is full of hard to find items from the early 1900’s and many walls are aged or have peeling paint.
The haunt looks and feels more like a real schoolhouse with some halls that go on forever. The first part of Dent is pretty scary, but once you enter Charlie’s Basement the scares are taken up a notch. Charlie’s basement is a very dark and sinful place. Children hang from hooks, a killer with a sack on his head shoves a woman into an incinerator and even a monster busts out of a brick wall as he tries to protect Charlie’s Lair. You’ll meet Charlie on several occasions and he’s a real ladies man. He has a killer charm or did I mean he’s a killer? He likes to slam his victims down and watch them squirm. Charlie’s Lair is a very intense place and the perfect home for a psychopath.
The Hillbilly swamp has been removed from The Dent Schoolhouse and has been replaced with a maze of school buses with some unexpected surprises. If you have musophobia or what most people call a fear of rats, you may want to cover your eyes as you walk around the yellow buses. The Dent Schoolhouse is full of surprises. There are many rooms you would see in a real haunted schoolhouse like a grotesque cafeteria or a shocking laboratory. Frankenstein has a home at Dent and he needs more parts.
The Dent Schoolhouse is an elaborate haunt with props that any Hollywood studio would be jealous of. Many are downright disturbing like the animated skeletons that pull at the hair of a poor girl or the teacher that hangs from the ceiling above a stairwell in a dark hallway. The Dent schoolhouse is in a league of its own when it comes to theming and its actors are some of the best in the business.
When you exit the schoolhouse, you’ll get in line for Detention Hall. Detention Hall is a dark and foggy maze full of intense actors and some unexpected twists and turns. Computerized DMX lighting has been added to the experience to make it more thrilling. I would love to write an extended review of this attraction, but I fear that it might ruin some of the surprises. You’ll just have to check it out for yourself.
The Dent Schoolhouse is a 20 minute tour and Detention Hall lasts around 7 minutes or under. Maze time can vary depending on how good you are at mazes. Tickets are $20 a piece and this includes The Dent Schoolhouse and Detention Hall. Speed Passes are $30 a piece. Front of the line admission is $40 and you’re able to skip straight to the front. The lights on tour is $10 a person and it’s $5 for children 12 and under. This event takes place on October 28th. Experience the haunt with no lights on for $10 a person. This is only available in November. Annual zombie night takes place on Sunday, October 14th. Come meet the living dead as they invade Dent. There are plenty of concessions available onsite including Dent’s very popular T-Shirt. It’s a big seller.
Charlie the janitor is waiting for you at The Dent Schoolhouse and school is in session.
Final Stab For Each Haunt
The Dent Schoolhouse: Length-9 Design-10 Props/Animatronics-10 Acting-10 Scare Effect-9 Final Stab: 9.6
Detention Hall: Length-6 Design-6 Props/Animatronics-Not Rated Acting-7 Scare Effect-6 Final Stab: 6.2