Literally, a Haunted House 2018 Review


Literally, a Haunted House at Culbertson Mansion (New Albany, IN)
“Baphomet’s Revenge!”

By Noah Wullkotte: jollypumpkin@aol.com

A carriage house has a petrifying past. Ghosts haunt the halls and objects mysteriously move without a soul in sight. Literally, a Haunted House at Culbertson Mansion is one of the few haunts I’ve been to where I get an uneasy feeling the moment I arrive. There’s something about the old carriage house that gives me goose bumps. It was so windy that night. Literally, a Haunted House has been around for 34 seasons and each year it has a new theme. This season, the theme is A House Possessed. Something evil has been unearthed and demonic forces have taken over the carriage house. May god bless this house of eternal damnation.

Literally, a Haunted House is a haunt that has a spooky atmosphere and unique cast of characters. It’s simply scary. That’s not to say that this haunt doesn’t have great set design and decor because that’s far from the truth. Many scenes are themed after demonic possession. Your tour of terror begins as you enter a haunted graveyard with a twist. The actors resemble a satanic cult or people that have been possessed. They’re not your typical flesh eating zombies. They kept talking about the House of the Southern Sky.

If you had a religious up bringing then some of the scenes at Literallly, a Haunted House will have a bigger impact on you. My family has had some strange experiences involving the Ouija Board. Hell, my childhood home almost burned down after trying to communicate with the dead. Pure evil lives at the carriage house and one brave woman by the name of Mary tries to bless the house, but something goes horribly wrong. Thanks to a Ouija board, objects suddenly move and poor Mary has become possessed. Get the hell out or you might become one of the evil beings that have taken over the carriage house.

Literally, a Haunted House is pretty clever in the way it scares customers. The church has a priest that wants you to feel the power of god. Put your hand on the bible and embrace the Holy Spirit. A mother in a rocking chair holds her baby as she sits in a dark room. You’ll be instructed to change the channel on the nearby TV. Hands come out of the screen as they try to grab you. This haunt has a very dedicated cast of characters that will scare you any way possible. Actors come from every direction and a possessed woman was even climbing the wall.

Literally, a Haunted House is known for its thrilling coffin ride. A character by the name of clump kind of resembles Igor from the classic horror movie Frankenstein. One member of your group will be placed in a coffin as they go for a wild ride. The others will be placed in a box that spins around and around. Hold on for dear life. Once the ride is over you’ll get out of the spinning box or coffin as you meet some frightening characters.

The most startling character you’ll meet is known as Baphomet. This demon has been around since the 1300s. At Literally, a Haunted House, Baphomet is a demonic deity that resembles a demon goat with large pointy horns and wings. I was pretty creeped out as Baphomet lightly touched my back. One of the biggest additions to this year’s haunt is the swamp. You’ll walk through a foggy swamp that’s been illuminated with green laser lights. This haunt has a unique twist on the popular swamp scene and features some chainsaw maniacs. The swamp is great, but having actors use chainsaws seemed a little out of place considering the theme. It would have been more effective to have actors dressed as demons or have a demonic monster hiding in the fog.

Your tour of terror will take around 13 minutes to complete. Tickets are $15 a piece. Click here to visit the haunt’s Facebook page where you can find a $2 off coupon. Every penny made goes towards the restoration of Culbertson Mansion. There are various scary characters that you’ll meet outside of the haunt. There’s a killer clown that has a baby doll face and an appetite for murder. It’s appropriate that his name is Pestilence which means deadly disease or the plague. The haunt keeps records of the number of people who’ve puked, cried, crapped their pants, pissed themselves, blacked out and quit. They call them Spooky Oopsies. You’ll also notice that they have a meme wall that features funny haunted house memes. There’s some tasty food being grilled and refreshments available as well.

Literally, a Haunted House is one of those haunts that deserves more recognition than it gets. Every season, they come up with a new theme that makes the entire haunt a unique experience that’s sure to scare you in some way. In many ways, it’s an old school haunt. It’s also one of the scariest haunts you’ll see all season. Find out if demonic possession is real at Culbertson Mansion’s carriage house.

Length-7  Design-8  Props/Animatronics-8  Acting-9  Scare Effect-9
Final Stab: 8.2
www.hauntedculbertson.org