The ScareAtorium 2014 Review

The ScareAtorium (Columbus, OH)
“You’ll Go Crazy With Fear”
By Noah Wullkotte: Jollypumpkin@aol.com

A deranged nun terrorizes the outside line as she zaps her victims with a fake stun gun. Listen to what she has to say or else. Wait a few minutes and you’ll be allowed to enter The ScareAtorium, one of Ohio’s best attractions. This is City Blood’s review of The ScareAtorium.

The wall is decorated with a detailed cemetery mural. Projected images of ghosts rise from the grave and quickly fly up into the air. The other side features another impressive mural with some interesting characters. Next to the queue line is a carnival freak show where you’ll meet Fingers the Clown. Play a game of chance. If you win, you might get a stuffed animal or some other prize. If you lose, you’ll walk away with a missing finger or two.

The ScareAtorium consists of two attractions which are Northland Asylum and Rip’s 3D Funhouse. We consider them themed sections that form one big attraction that’s around 23,000 square foot. You’ll first experience Northland Asylum. Enter an old asylum where vines have consumed its exterior. The patients and inmates have escaped. They’re now in charge of the mad house. Byron welcomes you to Northland Asylum before his big brother Luther breaks out. This crazed inmate tries to break down a door as he hits it with an ax. Dents appear as he stares through the window.

Northland Asylum is where the most insane patients in Ohio are out for blood. A lunatic hangs from a chandelier in the hospital’s restaurant/kitchen and a nurse hopped up on pills wants you to be her next customer in the pharmacy. Children are locked up in cages in the children’s ward. They scream out in terror and want to be free.

Get some dental work done in the dentist’s operating room. Don’t mind that blood that just hit you in the face. A lunatic wants to place a contraption on your head. Let her or you might end up six feet under. Northland Asylum has some crazy rooms. Large vampire bats attack and the catacombs have skeletons that grab at your clothing.

You’re not safe anywhere in this hospital because anything and everything is hiding. You might even get locked up in a padded cell or get burned alive in the crematorium. Don’t become one of the severed heads in the torture room. My favorite was the severed head that was roasting over an open fire. The ScareAtorium features rooms such as a disgusting bathroom, cold freezer, a morgue and much more. The acting is superb and no one breaks character. The rooms are highly detailed and most fit with the asylum theme with the exception of a few. You’ll see some interesting props. Who can forget the monster with razor sharp teeth that’s feasting on some intestines? The tour time is roughly 18 minutes.

After you exit Northland Asylum, you’ll enter Rip’s 3D Funhouse. This is ScareAtorium’s version of a clown themed attraction. Many of the scenes are decorated with art work by artist Stuart Smith who is world renowned for his incredible designs. When you put on your 3D Chromadepth glasses, the images really come to life. This 10 minute attraction features some impressive scenes and scares.

Our favorite is the maze with wooden bars that are covered in colorful dots. It’s a room that’s hard to describe, but all I can say is that it’s very unique and almost hypnotizing. Rip’s 3D Funhouse has you venturing through a room with stick figures, a carnival, a hall with hanging baby dolls, a hazardous waste zone and so much more.

The actors do a good job portraying crazy clowns. The most memorable is the clown who chases you while in a moving cage. The clown behind bars who threatened us with a knife got our attention as well. We definitely made the cut. This is a fun attraction, but it could be longer. The acting is good, but there are some characters that are too silly instead of scary. If you have a fear of clowns then Rip’s 3D Funhouse will have you running home to mommy. That’s if the crazy clowns don’t chase you first.

When you exit Rip’s 3D Funhouse, you’ll enter the Scare Store. You can purchase souvenirs, T-Shirts and more. The new ScareAtorium T-Shirt that looks like a straight jacket is pretty cool. We haven’t seen anything like it. T-Shirt prices are $12.99-19.99 and come in a variety of designs. General Admission is $20 and Timed Tickets are available in advance for $23. Skip the line with a VIP ticket which is $30 a person. Click here for a $2 off coupon.

Lights on tours take place on 10/12, 10/19 and 10/26. They run from 5-7 pm. Tickets are $8 for adults and $3 for children 12 and under. The ScareAtorium is much easier to locate this year because they now have a large electric sign. It’s very visible from the street. Their new ambulance is definitely an eye catcher as well.

The ScareAtorium is one of the best haunts in Ohio. It features some of the most dedicated actors who wear elaborate costumes and great makeup. It’s a scary haunt and one that you, your family and friends will enjoy. It’s close to 30 minutes of terror that will make anyone go crazy with fear.