The Dent Schoolhouse (Cincinnati, OH)
“Zobo’s House of Horrors”
By Noah Wullkotte: firstname.lastname@example.org
A boarded up elementary school glows blood red as it calls for you to enter its haunted halls. Will you tempt faint as you enter The Dent Schoolhouse where you might become one of the tormented souls inside? This is City Blood’s 2017 review of The Dent Schoolhouse, where school is back in session.
The Dent Schoolhouse has one of the most elaborate queue line areas around. You’re going to feel like you’ve been transported back to the 1940’s/50’s during the annual Fall Festival. Get your picture taken and don’t worry about that vicious werewolf at the kissing booth. Pucker up before getting your face torn off. Pumpkins are synchronized to music as they flash on and off in the costume contest booth. There’s even a Witches Brew booth where an old decrepit witch will put a spell on you.
You better not be tardy at The Dent Schoolhouse or your head will be placed on a silver platter. Walls are stained and rooms look like they’ve aged over time. Enter the belly of the beast where your fears will be exploited at every tun. The science teacher isn’t dissecting frogs. He’s experimenting on humans and you’re next. This is a school that’s been taken over by ghouls, ghosts and creatures from beyond the grave. Some people can’t take the madness including a teacher who’s committed suicide in the hallway. Her life has come to an untimely end and her spirit haunts the schoolhouse as she hangs from the ceiling.
This is an elaborate haunt where scenes are jaw dropping gorgeous. The school dance is full of zombie couples that are hand in hand as they dance the night away. A large ghost with glowing eyes slowly floats in the air. There’s nowhere safe to turn at The Dent Schoolhouse and you might even question your sanity. The playroom is decorated with massive toys that want to end your life. An evil monkey with symbols and a giant rocking horse are creepy to say the least.
The attention to detail is bar none. Many of the scenes are covered in dust and shelves have old antiques. Hell, an old can of beans started to talk to me, but maybe I was just hallucinating. You’ll explore areas like the school shower stall where a diseased freak gets closer and closer. The sewer features toxic sludge that glows bright green. The disgusting bathroom has a scary creature hiding and you might even get a little wet.
The Dent Schoolhouse doesn’t just rely on rooms you would see in an elementary school. One of the scariest parts of this haunt is the dark and damp basement. You never know what you’ll see lurking in the darkness. Giant dolls spring to life and you might come face to face with some killer cockroaches. These bugs don’t act too kindly to Raid. The Dent Schoolhouse does a great job at using elements of Halloween and horror. One room is decorated with old Halloween decorations including plastic light up blow molds. A poor soul lies motionless on the table. She looks like her face has been carved like a pumpkin.
Students aren’t safe at The Dent Schoolhouse. A few of them can be seen hanging from hooks. The Dent Schoolhouse is a sensory overload. The props are over the top and there are some very immersive scenes. The ancient catacombs include 4,000 skulls that decorate the walls. A girl is seen laying on an alter as she is sacrificed to the Necromancer. His magical powers make her levitate. It’s a true sight to behold. The actors are great and the costumes are very authentic looking. Many of the characters you’ll meet are maniacal and have a tendency to lash out. The only issue I have is that we caught up with a group in front of us which made us miss a few of the scares. Mutant clowns can be seen at the new PTA Fun Fest and hopefully you get a chance to meet Zobo. He’s Dent’s resident killer clown who is just waiting to snatch you up.
After you’ve survived The Dent Schoolhouse, you’ll enter the Queen City Slaughter Yard. This is a haunted maze of sorts where you’ll be treated like a pig that’s been taken to the slaughter house. Blood thirsty fiends torment customers with chainsaws, knives and other interesting weapons. Victims can be seen in cages as they scream bloody murder. This is a dark and twisted haunt that lasts around 6 minutes. It adds more value, but pales in comparison to the main attraction which is The Dent Schoolhouse. The Dent Schoolhouse has been scored, but Queen City Slaughter Yard has not. It’s included in the price of admission and we don’t consider it a typical haunt.
The Dent Schoolhouse is 16 minutes long, but this depends on how slow you walk or how fast you run for your life. Your total experience including both attractions is 22 minutes. Tickets are $20, Sunday through Friday. General Admission is $25 on Saturdays in October. A Fast Pass is $40 or you can go straight to the head of the line for $50. Experience the schoolhouse with the lights off on November 4th. Tickets are $20. A touch pass where the actors will get physical is $35. Ghost tours take place on Wednesdays in October and November 3rd & 4th. Tickets are $35 and it’s recommended that you bring a flashlight. There are $3 off coupons available at Pizza Hut, Dunkin’ Donuts, United Dairy Farmers, CVS Pharmacy and Arby’s. I found a coupon on the top of my Pizza Hut box which was a pleasant surprise.
Experience The Dent Schoolhouse with the lights on from 5-7 pm on Sunday, October 29th. Please visit www.frightsite.com for more information on events and various pricing including group rates. There are many concessions available including Dent Schoolhouse apparel, food, drinks and more. There are also many photo-op stations in the Fall Festival Queue line and as you exit. VIP Parking is available across the street for $5 and it benefits a local charity. You can park across from the Western Hills Cinemark down the street for free.
The Dent Schoolhouse is an institution of fear. Janitor Charlie McFee is waiting for you. Don’t force him to clean up too much of your blood.
Length-8 Design-10 Props/Animatronics-10 Acting-9 Scare Effect-8
Final Stab: 9.0