The ScareAtorium (Columbus, OH)
“Escape In One Piece or Go Crazy”
By Noah Wullkotte: Jollypumpkin@aol.com
Hurricane Patricia, the worst tropical cyclone in history hit the pacific coast of New Mexico and cities across the US were affected. There was torrential rain pour on our trip to Columbus, Ohio, but this didn’t affect the attendance at The ScareAtorium. When we arrived there was a massive line that wrapped around the Northland Plaza Shopping Center. It was one of the largest crowds we’ve seen all season. We were very anxious to see the horrors we would experience that night.
New this year is The ScareAtorium’s Panic Rooms. You have exactly 3 minutes to solve a puzzle or find a certain object. If you’re successful then you win a prize such as White Castle Cheeseburgers or free bowling. Tickets are $5 a piece and you have your choice of Cut-Throat Cabin or Rip’s Box Car. We were pleasantly surprised by how much fun we had, but we failed miserably in completing the task. Hopefully you’ll have better luck.
The ScareAtorium consists of 2 attractions. This includes Northland Asylum and Rip’s 3D Funhouse. Northland Asylum is a journey through one of the craziest mental institutions you’ve ever layed your eyes on. We were put in with another group of people who were absolutely terrified as they walked through various scenes. The entire time they tightly held on to each other. They jumped out of their skin whenever they heard the slightest sound or saw a twisted character.
This is definitely a twisted haunt. Only the most deranged psychopaths and crazy killers have residency at Northland Asylum. Children scream out for their parents in the children’s ward and severed heads are trapped in torture devices. My favorite was the head that roasted over an open fire. The catacombs come alive in the cemetery as skeletons grab at your clothes. The medical staff can’t be trusted. The pharmacist is hooked on prescription pills and the dentist will rip your tongue out.
The hospital is full of some horrific sights. A monster with razor sharp teeth munches on some fresh intestines and this asylum has a bat infestation. These bats are massive and lunge at you as you walk past them. This is an intense experience where the insane are kept in padded rooms splattered with blood and the boiler room isn’t a place you want to go.
After you’re done With Northland Asylum, you’re ready for Rip’s 3D Funhouse. Walk past a mural of famous clowns and Jason Voorhees before entering a 3D adventure where the clowns are out to kill you. Put your 3D glasses on and enjoy beautiful artwork. Paintings of mutated clowns and burning skulls are just the beginning. A room is full of wooden bars that are painted with glowing dots. This is a really cool effect. There are various scenes like a clown who moves around in a cage with wheels, a room full of clown heads, a clown stripper who loves to get up close and personal, a nuclear waste area with a clown who throws up and much more.
This is a fun attraction, but it’s not nearly as scary as Northland Aslyum. The beautiful artwork is the highlight for us. Some of the artwork was done by world renowned artist Stuart Smith. If you have a fear of clowns then you’re going to be scared shirtless. The characters are more humorous than scary.
Tickets are $20 and this includes admission to Northland Asylum and Rip’s 3D Funhouse. VIP Fast Pass Admission is $30 and Timed Tickets are $23. Escape Rooms are $5 per room. Sunday Lights-On Tours are $10 (12+), and $5 Children (3-11). While you wait you can enjoy the detailed queue lines. There’s a carnival/freak show and much more. A large blood trail leads you to the restrooms. There are various concessions available such as hats, T-Shirts, lighters, refreshments and more. The Happy Horrordays event will take place on December 18th, 19th, 26th and 27th. Click here to sign up for The ScareAtorium newsletter to receive a free coupon
We find it very appropriate that the haunt is right next to a plasma donation center. The ScareAtorium is a haunt with dedicated actors that are really great at their craft. We were inside Northland Asylum for nearly 20 minutes and Rip’s 3D Funhouse is close to 10 minutes long. We consider them two quality attractions that form one big event. It’s a good value for how much entertainment you’re getting. We wholeheartedly recommend The ScareAtorium. It’s a bloody good time.
Length-9 Design-9 Props/Animatronics-8 Acting-9 Scare Effect-8
Final Stab: 8.6